Comments on: Do You Keep Money Secrets From Your Spouse?

By: Cheapskate Sandy

Cheapskate Sandy — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:25:58 +0000

I don’t know so much about secrets but I don’t necessarily volunteer everything…of course they’re all on my blog to see. He’s just not interested and expects me to take care of everything. I think in most relationships there might be one person that’s better at taking care of the finances than others and the task naturally falls to one person.

By: Robin Poulin

Robin Poulin — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 18:22:24 +0000

My parents had a joint account and shared some basics of their finances with my sister and I when I was younger, so it was a natural thing for me to be open with my husband even before I got married.
Early on in our marriage we discussed our financial goals, which on top of our list was to be debt free as soon as possible. So all other purchases have been judged against that goal and the knowledge of where every penny has to go in our budget.
You feel alot freer when you have no secrets hanging over your head and when you have a game plan. You can respond quickly and easily because you’ve already pre-decided what you would do with room for exceptions that merit discussion. Today’s choices don’t stay quiet and do affect your future.

By: Annie

Annie — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 04:02:41 +0000

There may be money secrets and stress between you and your spouse. But being honest with your spouse and bring all of those things that you were hiding in the dark into the light. Can make your marriage stronger. And this closeness, support, and strength can help you make it through difficult times.
Annie´s last blog ..Are You Really Ready To Ask Someone To Co-sign For You

By: threadbndr

threadbndr — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:54:00 +0000

The three checking/bank account model isn’t really keeping a secret (imho). When my late husband was alive, we used that model. We each contributed to the ‘household’ account and had our own accounts. The individual accounts were very small and basically were our ‘mad’ money. If I was in a relationship now, I’d do that part in cash instead, but the checking accounts worked at the time.

I actually like the ‘household’ vs ‘personal’ divide so much that I STILL have two checking accounts. It really helps me keep a handle on the fixed and discresionary expenses.

By: Carnival of Personal Finance #211 : Carnival of Personal Finance

Carnival of Personal Finance #211 : Carnival of Personal Finance — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 12:46:07 +0000

[...] Do You Keep Money Secrets From Your Spouse? [...]

By: KA

KA — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 00:33:58 +0000

Unexpected money surprises are the worst kind of surprises. Speaking from my brother’s experience (not mine, thankfully), suddenly realizing one day that your spouse has put you into a huge financial hole can sink a relationship faster than anything. He was asking himself all the standard questions about trust in their relationship that people ask when they discover their spouse is cheating.

They’re divorced now, and he’s still paying for her financial indiscretions, though not as badly as she is. He quickly learned to live on almost nothing to work towards repairing his finances. She only learned how to hop from one introductory-rate credit card to the next, destroying her credit score and eventually putting herself into bankruptcy, but she sure has some nice stuff in her house.

By: Abigail

Abigail — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 20:42:02 +0000

I think that if you feel you have to keep something a secret, that’s a pretty obvious indication that you’re doing something wrong. Clearly, you’ve spent too much or broken some other rule that you and your spouse have agreed to. Then you compounded the problem by lying to your spouse, which is a far bigger betrayal than a one-time slip up would be.

When my husband started smoking again in secret, I was upset since he has asthma and since it’s incredibly expensive, as far as habits go. But the real hurt was that he didn’t tell me. In fact, there were one or two times that I asked him directly and he denied it. So he lied to my face. That hurt lingered far beyond the frustration of his renewed smoking. Since that was only about six months ago, there are times when I find myself wondering if he’s telling me the truth about other habits. I hate that feeling! I hate not being able to trust my spouse the way I did before. I know we’ll get over it in time, but it’s definitely something that will stick with me for awhile.
Abigail´s last blog ..Sometimes, it’s just about making progress

By: Chris Roland

Chris Roland — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 23:43:48 +0000

I think you shouldn’t keep any secrets about money from your spouse and even if a purchase may cause a “discussion”, I find full disclosure is the best policy

I see more of this type of activity with second and third marriages, I don’t know if this is common or not.

By: JoeTaxpayer

JoeTaxpayer — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 18:49:32 +0000

Hiro – your girlfriend is smart. My wife and I have 3 accounts and it works great. Each payday, most of out income gets transferred to Joint, but she has her checkbook for her own shopping, places that don’t take credit cards. The only thing she has to “report” to me is a charitable donation so I make sure we get the receipt for tax time. I’ve seen too many people fight over bounced checks trying to manage one account.
JoeTaxpayer´s last blog ..The week’s blog reading

By: Personal Finance Buzz

Personal Finance Buzz — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 18:14:54 +0000

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