The calendar flips to a new year. You look back at the year that’s passed and look at where you want to be and decide you need to make some resolutions. Things are gonna change in the next year! So many grand ideas fill your head. You’re gonna be a new person. You’re gonna lose weight, pay off your debt, get in shape, read the classics, learn a new language, save up for retirement…you name it. A few weeks pass and not only are you done with your resolutions, you end up disillusioned about trying.
I’m saying it – New Year’s resolutions are bulls@%t!!
Most people who make resolutions don’t keep up with them. We’ve all heard the story – people go out in droves after the new year and get gym memberships that, for the most part, are hardly used. I think we all have one friend that comes up with all sorts of grand ideas to accomplish in the new year but they never actually get off the ground.
Why are most resolutions bad?
Folks look back on the year and tell themselves they need to make big changes. Usually the changes are too big and grand. Maybe they have friends or family that are making resolutions. Most of the time they are biting off more than they can chew! I often hear of resolutions that are big statements. Guess what? Most of us don’t change that much real quick. Real change takes time, patience, and practice.
We’ll start off with a lot of enthusiasm for a resolution, putting a lot of energy into trying to make it happen. Then we realize how hard the resolution is and our enthusiasm wanes. Before long, the resolution is not only forgotten but we get so fed up and disillusioned with the resolution that we want nothing to do with it. That doesn’t sound too healthy does it? This is why I say New Year’s resolutions are bulls@%t.
What to do then?
Don’t even think about resolutions. Get them out of your mind. Rather, think about what you want to change as a goal or a habit. Be concrete and SMART about what you want to do and change. It’s ok to want to change or accomplish something, but you need to have a real plan and intention.
Here are some suggestions to keeping a goal from a recent Wall Street Journal article:
- Take One Step At A Time – Too often a person tries to do to much too quickly. It’s a sure-fire road to failure. Break up your goal into small, achievable tasks.
- Get A Little Help From Your Friends – Recruit your friends to help keep you accountable. Find friends that have similar goals and use each other as a support group.
- Announce Your Intentions – Let as many people as you can know about your goal. This will help you commit and will give you a large group of people to check in with you. When you announce your goals people will ask about them later on. Use social networking to get the word out, you can even start a blog to help keep track of your progress.
- Expect Setbacks – Too often a setback is seen as failure and turns a person away from their goal. Expect that things will not go perfectly all the time. Sometimes you have to take one step back to take two steps forward!
And here is what Leo Babauta of Zen Habits has to say on the subject:
- Focus on only one habit at a time.
- Implement the changes gradually.
- Start out easy.
- Focus on enjoyable activities.
- Have a specific plan with specific actions.
(For more from Leo Babauta check out his new site 6 Changes and his helpful book The Power of Less).
Look, it’s great that you want to improve yourself. I just think that New Year’s resolutions, for the most part, are not generally taken seriously. If there’s something you want to do or change then you need to go about it seriously. We all should strive to be the best we can and we should do this every day not just when the calendar turns a page.
What do you think of New Year’s resolutions?
{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
You are correct, New Years resolutions are garbage. Maybe if you pick just one, you’ll be ok. But making a pile of things you put off all year and saying your going to change them all in one day is insanity.
Indeed it is. Many of us scramble to fix all the things we didn’t like the previous year and resolve to change them but rarely do we get anywhere!
I think it all depends on how you define the resolution. If you are going to say “lose 20lbs” or “save more money” then yes, they are complete and utter BS. But if the goal/objective is “eat out less” (which would take care of both those ‘resolutiosn’ above) then I don’t think they are BS.
I guess I am with you on the SMART stuff!
Evan´s last blog ..Goals and Objectives for 2010! Need Help Solidifying
I’m willing to accept that it’s all how you define resolution. I think for many though, it means telling yourself you are going to do something grand and undefined just for the sake of having something after New Year’s.
I agree, if you want to do something, just do it. Set a goal and go for it. No reason to wait till new years, just start it now.
Craig´s last blog ..Weekly Personal Finance Twitter Chat: Scholarships
I’ll admit, come my birthday I feel like making changes just like New Year’s resolutions. It’s the same thing. But I realize that if I want to really change I need to act now and act in a way that allows me to actually do it.
Not all New Year’s resolution are garbage, it also depend to the person having those resolutions. If he/ she has a determination to get it she/he can, but if she /he will not give any intention to get what he/she want it will not happen.
Determination and intention are great but what a person really needs is a SMART plan. You need specific, achievable goals. No, the ideas behind resolutions aren’t garbage, it’s the implementation behind them.
I said pretty much the same thing last year, so this year I didn’t bother to repeat myself. But I agree with you, for the most part.
I say, instead of resolutions, have goals. Goals imply long-term work, rather than something that can be fulfilled or broken, with nothing in between.
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And isn’t it the worst when you break the resolution? You work your rear off for a month and end up quitting and you feel worse than when you started.
You said it “take one step at a time”. Just pick one thing, if you have do and accomplish that, permanently. Then pick one more after the first monkey is beaten.
John DeFlumeri Jr.
John DeFlumeri Jr´s last blog .."Will There Be Enough Soldiers?"
Exactly!
Taking your insights a step further, I’d say that New Years is a good time to reflect on how you’ve spent the previous year pursuing your goals a day at a time. New goals can be added throughout the year, not just on some “magical” day. In the end consistency is what matters, regardless of method.
Consistency is what will get things done. Setbacks are tough but you have to go back at it and you will see the results you want.
Frankly, I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolution. It’s just part of the spirit of the holiday season. I believe that true change does not come with the appropriate season, it comes from our will to truly change. As you have said, real change takes time, practice and patience. It is better to make a change right now than planning for it.
There’s no real reason to put off change or goals. It bugs me when I hear someone say they’ll start doing X next year. Do it now.
I agree with you by in large. Unless you’re a little obsessive about your resolution, you’ll probably stick to the plan a few weeks since you’re motivated or the idea is a novel concept, then the slippage will begin.
I prefer to set medium term goals (say 1 to 3 months) and work towards them.
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What a great article to read 30 seconds AFTER coming up with my own New Year’s resolutions. =)
But I agree. The best resolutions are the ones that seem attainable.. rather than pie in the sky pipe dreams. I also think it’s key that they are goals that you are really excited about achieving. If you don’t REALLY want it, you’ll never change your life.
NextRichGirl´s last blog ..It’s New Year’s… Have You Made Your Resolutions Yet?
I don’t want to rain down on your resolutions. But it sounds like you understand what real goals are as opposed to what many consider resolutions. Good luck with yours!
I like your mention of SMART. It is a good model.
Ken´s last blog ..Being Faithful in the Small Things
I agree with you on most of this, new years resolutions being garbage, being SMART, and such-but I have to say, announcing my intentions has never worked out well for me. I tell my immediate family abotu the changes I’m making now, and that’s it. When I announce it to everyone else, the pressure of knowing people will ask me about it gives me a negative feeling about my changes, and pretty soon I become annoyed at my decision and slip back into old patterns. Not mentioning things I want to change until after I’d made them routine the past few years has worked much better for me.
Of course, this strategy probably works well for other people! Just not me.
If announcing you goals becomes a burden then don’t do it. You have to find what works for you. Another way of announcing it though could be to blog about it or find a forum related to your goal. This way you can still get support for your goal without the pressure of friends.
Little baby steps is definitely the way to go.
The Japanese call it Kaizen.
Whatever you call it, it must be defined well and taken one step at a time.
If you do use resolutions, make sure to break them down into doable steps…and DO them starting with step 1 – Today.
Thanks for the reminder
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