These are trying times for our economy. The money in my 401(k) is going nowhere, my high-yield savings isn’t yielding very high, Bill Gates isn’t the richest in the world, the economy basically evaporated…
What’s a person to do?!?
I propose seven ways for you to get rich quick!
Stock speculation
We all know money can be made on the stock market. You just have to invest in the right companies. Find lots of small companies that look good. Big companies weren’t always big – they started small. Find an emerging industry and invest there. Surely professional companies will grow and as they do so will your stock price. Check this out – as recent as 2003 stocks returned over 28%!!
Buy property and flip it
Rates have dropped. Housing prices have dropped. Now is the time to start reaping the rewards of of the housing bubble burst! Do you own a home now? Leverage that home with a home equity loan and buy up what properties you can. Housing prices will go up again and you will see the green!
Insider trading
We all know someone on Wall Street in the stock market today, don’t we? Think they keep everything secret? Why do you think they are rich? Next time you run into one of your Wall Street buds hit him up for some tips. These guys work with stocks all day so they know where they are moving. Maybe they can tell you the best trades in penny stocks (those always seem to go up, right?). Use those tips and buy what you can!
Gambling
Ever played blackjack? Craps? These games have some of the best odds in the casino! You can learn all sorts of different playing strategies online to help you win. Heck, there’s even a movie about some MIT students who beat the casinos with blackjack. Go get to the casinos before everyone sees the movie and has the same idea!
Blog
Anyone can blog. Really. Look at me, I’m no Dostoevsky and you’re reading this. There are so many ways you can make money with a blog. Just throw some ads on your site, write some posts, and voila! Instant cash! Make sure to link back to me when you start up!
Tax return
List anything you can as a deduction. We can all find some way to justify an expense. The more you put the better. The money you donated to the orphanage? That’s like having a whole bunch of dependents to declare! Get your tax return to the point where the government is giving you back a huge return. When the money comes in you can try the other six tips here. Oh, don’t have your accountant do it. Do it yourself. You know what your deductions are.
Win the lottery
Someone has to win. Yes the odds are bad. But every ticket you get improves those odds. What if you took your tax refund or stimulus check and bought lottery tickets? There’s bound to be a winner in there.
What’s that?………Hold on one sec……uh-huh…ok.
My lawyer and accountant just barged in on me. They’re telling me I might have gotten a few facts wrong.
Umm, lets see…stock speculation’s not a great idea. Speculation without real research is actually closer to gambling than investing.
But I like gambling!
Cross off gambling too. Something about if it were so easy to do well with it then everyone would do it. And that casinos have the best odds in the long run. And those MIT kids were an exception that didn’t last.
Remember those 2003 returns? Here are the returns for the three years before 2003: 2000 -9.03%, 2001 -11.85%, 2002 -21.98%.
Ohh.
Past returns do not guarantee future returns. And lots of small companies fail or never make the successful leap to become a large corporation.
Related: Online Brokers with Inexpensive Trades.
On the same note, there’s no telling where the bottom is in the housing market. Many thought it would never drop and here we are. Buying now could be ok if you’re looking to buy your own house but otherwise you’re back to speculating. Leveraging what you own could be a sure-fire way to end up foreclosed.
My lawyer mentioned that insider trading is illegal.
Ouch. Ok, don’t do that! My accountant chimed in saying that just because someone trades a stock it doesn’t mean they research the fundamentals of any of the companies they trade. That’s good to know. So watch out for any stock tips too. Do your own research!
I just checked my advertiser accounts for this blog. There’s a few cents in there but nothing to live off of. I might have jumped the gun saying that a blog was instant cash. You can make money with a blog but I it takes persistence and hard work and even then it could fail.
Nope, not a way to get rich quick.
That looks funny!
My accountant and lawyer are jumping up and down pointing to Tax Return. Wha? oh.
They are highly against putting anything fraudulent on your tax return. There’s this thing called an audit which is not something you want to go through. Make sure your return is correct and if you have questions seek out a professional accountant. Otherwise, you can find yourself with a whole bunch of income tax problems that need a team of tax attorneys.
Can I keep my lottery tickets at least? I can? Oh, but odds are I’m just giving money to the state? Even though someone wins the odds are very much against winning. Better off saving the money.
Do people sometimes get rich quick?
Yeah, it happens. But it’s far more rare than you might think. Rather than spend your time on some get rich quick scheme, put your energy into a legitimate way to earn money. Work hard at what you do. Find ways to make money on the side. Save. Invest. Create something of value to people. Save more than you spend. Be honest in your work and to yourself.
